Beauty in Brokenness
My late father-in-law was not banned from practising his golf in the hall of their home without good reason. However, in his eyes, that didn’t mean that golf was banned in the lounge.
So, on one particularly wet afternoon when he found himself home alone, it came about that somehow (and strangely Artie could never quite recall how or why – although not surprisingly, the security camera could) the oversized and rather ugly china rhinoceros which stood on the hearth, came a cropper and lost half his horn.
Fortunately it was a clean cut and the pointy bit was easily retrieved from under the television. A large dollop of UHU glue was applied and after an unnecessarily vigorous push, as far as Artie was concerned, Bob was his uncle. The fact that the vigorous push had resulted in most of the glue oozing out of the join and running downhill towards the rhino’s forehead didn’t concern him in the least. After all, the glue was clear – so no problem! Blind men on galloping horses and all that! The golf clubs were hastily returned to the car and life went on.
Had my mother-in-law’s eyesight been even very slightly better she would have noticed the damage much earlier. As it was, it wasn’t until the UHU took on a revolting brownish colour some considerable time later that Artie was finally rumbled. Had the poor rhino been human he would have been rushed off to hospital to begin immediate treatment for what looked like a serious - and very possibly terminal - infection.
As early as the 15th century the Japanese took an entirely different view of breakages, for instead of disposing of favourite or special items which had become damaged or broken, immense care was taken to put them back together again.
Japanese lacquer, known as ‘urushi’ was dusted with powdered gold and then each piece was carefully and lovingly put back into its original place. This meant the opposite of trying to disguise the fact that the item had been broken. Instead each break was positively highlighted in gold and resulting in a totally new creation with a renewed beauty all of its own.
It’s not at all surprising then, that over the centuries ‘Kintsugi’ became not just merely a beautiful way of restoring something which had been broken but also a philosophy. Think about it. No two bowls or vases or plates will ever break in exactly the same way. Every crack and every break is unique. Is it not exactly the same in life? Are we not all vulnerable to tough times and hardships? Do we ever feel broken or shattered? None of us is exempt – young or old, rich or poor. Life can and does hit us hard and full on at times when we least expect it and just as it is with pottery, no two people will suffer the effects in exactly the same way. Dealing with personal tragedy, loneliness, disappointment, abuse, grief, divorce, to name but a few, can leave us feeling broken and in pieces. Dr Daniel Passini says:
“The right circumstances at the wrong time can break even the strongest’”
Being in or even near that state of brokenness affects us in many ways. There are those who feel that they can never regain the happiness and the sense of self worth they once had. The feeling of powerlessness is overwhelming and often depression and isolation follow close behind. Under these circumstances trying to bury the past seems to be the only option and their lives remain dominated by sadness and a brooding sense of loss.
On the other hand there are those who are determined to try to move on. They seem to cope well, demonstrating personal strength and positivity around family and friends when, actually, underneath, the opposite is true. Struggling on a daily basis to appear that all is well when it really isn’t just brings additional problems.
It’s an undeniable fact of life that scars are the visible reminders of wounds and our feeble attempts to hide them fail miserably. If we apply the principles of Kintsugi to our own lives we can see just how much they make sense and how much we can learn from them. We can learn that the cracks and broken pieces of our lives can, with love and care, be put back together again. We can learn that we can not only be made whole again but emerge more resilient, more experienced and a lot wiser than we were before! The phrase ‘Beauty in brokenness’ stands out and comes to life and completely affirms that our life experiences, no matter how bad, should not be worn like a badge of shame, but rather they are what make us unique, strong and ever useful to those around us! It’s absolutely true that a piece which has been restored by the Kintsugi method is deemed more valuable than the original. So it can be with us.
As Christians here in KPC we believe that Christ restores, renews and empowers us on a daily basis. Therefore, whatever life may have been like for us in the past and whatever life is like for us now or may hold for us in the future, we are confident that – just as a Kintsugi restoration - we can emerge transformed and ready for the next chapter!